How To Tell If You Are In A Troubled Relationship

We all make mistakes and soon enough we start looking for ways to get back with ex. But how does one tell beforehand if we are in a troubled relationship? Understanding this will save you a lot of heartache.

Here are some signs:

· Your partner keeps insulting you in front of others.
· Your partner does express their love in words but never in actions.
· You find your partner trying to control you - reading your personal mail or checking on you by making surprise visits.
· Your partner feels good if you are completely dependent on them.
· You notice that over a period of time you have changed yourself considerably to please your partner.

Such people don’t make you happy when they are around you. What are the reasons for a relationship turning bad? Why would you want to be in a relationship where you feel you are being harmed in every way – both physically and emotionally?

A troubled relationship is like being caught in a vicious cycle. The first phase of the cycle is the honeymoon period, then a blow up, finally reconciliation – then the new cycle begins.

Honeymoon phase is when you meet a new partner. You will not realize that you are in a troubled relationship until and unless you have been sucked in deep into the relationship. This is the stage when it gets very tough to get out of it.

This is precisely the reason why troubled relationships usually turn into troubled homes.

The first step in staying or getting out of troubled relationships is to understand and realize that each one of us, you, me, him and her – we all have choices. You don’t need to suffer by staying in such a relationship.

Once you know that there are choices you can make, the next step is to stand up for yourself. In most troubled relationships, your partner has brainwashed you that whatever is happening in your lives is your fault. Once you start believing this, it is not easy to walk away from the relationship or even try and heal the relationship.

Many people find working in groups for a therapy helps them get out or redefine such relationships.

Here’s the good news………..

Not all troubled relationships end up on a sour note. There are many who repair their troubled relationship and stay in it – happily ever after.

Salvaging a relationship takes a little time, a little space and in some cases, conselling. If both the partners are up to it and go into the “salvage operation” with an open mind, it is possible to renew the relationship and make it healthy.

The choice to make a relationship work is upon the couple. For this to happen, you will have to liberate yourself from the dependency you have formed on your partner. You will have to start to assert what it is you need from your life together.

Don’t try to achieve this by nagging your partner. Just say “I need you to support me,” “ I need your love,” “I need you to be truthful,” or ‘I need you to understand my feelings.”

If things do not change as per your needs, your partner should know that you will walk out.

You must understand that a healthy relationship is like a two-way street, with give and take
from both partners. In a troubled relationship, the street is one-way.

You have the power to change that, but you must make sure you take the power into your hands and do the needful.